36 weeks, and a big pregnancy lie...

36 weeks = 9 months, right? Right! and you think you'd be done, right? Right! But you're not done. You still have 4 weeks to go technically to your due date at 40 weeks gestation. 40 weeks = 10 months. Why do we perpetuate the lie that pregnancy is 9 months!! It's not! Of course, most women find this out after they become pregnant. Doesn't seem very fair.

Of course you can go into labor before you hit the 40 weeks mark (here's hoping), and a some unlucky ones go to 41, 42 weeks (really, really not fair, although due dates can be wrong) . Still here I am at 36 weeks and doing well and feeling fine although looking forward to the end more than ever as certain everyday tasks do get a little more challenging. I'm really looking forward to not having to go to work anymore. I'm going to try to make it another 2 weeks unless Maya has her own plans, but commuting everyday does get rather tiring. At least people give me their seat on the subway. We're pretty ready for this baby to arrive, we finished our gear shopping, have done some research on pediatricians, filled out health insurance forms and overall have spent so much time anticipating her arrival and what our life with offspring will be like that it would be nice to get going already. We close on our apt Tuesday and then we'll really have nothing else to take our mind off baby stuff. 36 weeks, the size of a crenshaw melon.

And finally... the walkthrough

In what seemed like a surreal event after months of delays and waiting- Friday afternoon we were able to walk through our completed apartment at 5th Street Lofts in Long Island City, Queens. Our brand spanking new 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment is finally complete and we examined every inch of it with a representative from the builder (Toll Brothers)- looking for scratches in the floor boards, lose door knobs, wobbly towel racks, holes in window screens, any paint touch-ups needed and working appliances. We're especially looking forward to the washer/dryer and the dishwasher. He was much more meticulous than we were and cited things on our punch list that we didn't think to ask for - like replacing all the wooden floor boards in the kitchen because they were scratched when they put in the big appliances (it was hardly noticeable if you ask me - but hey - knock yourself out), to replacing the window knobs if they were too tight to turn. It was a relief to have someone go through the apartment so meticulously and agree to replace or fix things without even having to ask. A good ending to an arduous process.

Brian was really intent on testing the shower since our current shower leaves a lot to be desired and managed to test it first hand, fully clothed when the shower head which was pointed outwards nailed him when he turned the faucet. The Toll brothers guy commiserated and said that he had done that many times during walk throughs. We have another walk through sometime next week and then a last inspection the morning of our closing scheduled for July 29th! 7 Months late but finally happening.

The mortgage situation is another headache that took a while to straighten out as the economy and mortgage banks in particular are in a downward spiral - somehow we managed to get lucky and lock in a good rate. We decided to wait until after the offspring is born before we move, too hectic to try to do it in August, so we'll move sometime in September. We're in pretty good shape otherwise for her arrival, and one of us in particular really looking forward to her inhabiting her own body.... 34 weeks and counting (the size of a cantalope).

Fighting with Furniture

So as we hit the 30 week mark in our pregnancy this weekend (head of cabbage sized baby), the baby furniture we ordered hit the front door. First came the biggest box I have ever seen containing our new crib all disassembled, then came the delivery truck on Saturday with a matching dresser/changing table ensemble. We spent the majority of the weekend moving furniture around like jigsaw pieces in our apartment to get our computer desk out of our bedroom and into the living room to make room for the baby's furniture in our bedroom. The dogs were scurrying to stay out of the way and looked rather concerned throughout the whole process. Luckily the dresser came assembled and the delivery guys just attached the changing topper to it. The crib was another story, and the pack n' play (I know, I know, there shouldn't be anything to assemble, it's supposed to be easy to transport and pop up and break down) was another story all together. Or maybe we were just tired of fighting with the furniture at that point and could care less how it was supposed to fit back into it's carrying case, which didn't speed things up.

I think it was a good idea to do this in stages, otherwise somebody would lose it! We still need a stroller and a car seat which will require some assembly or installation. But we've had some practice with frustration at this point, maybe we'll be better prepared for those challenges. Still - it's starting to feel very real. Some of the couples in our Bradley childbirth class have had their babies already so our numbers are dwindling. I guess these little things really are on their way! I have 9 more weeks of work (if I make it that long) before taking off for my maternity leave, August 15th - one week before my due date of August 23rd. A great motivator for wrapping up some projects at work I've been procrastinating on!

Birth Plans

So after all the doctor visits, the lab tests, ultrasounds and hospital tours I’ve decided to switch healthcare providers and hospitals, and go with a midwife at the birthing center of St.Luke’s- Roosevelt rather than a traditional Ob. No easy feat at 28 weeks along (I called everyone in town and begged). Reason being we’re hoping and planning to have a natural child birth and the more I’ve researched birthing practices in this country the more appalled I became at the state of maternity care pre and post partum and how challenging it might be to actually have the child birth experience we’re hoping for without the right environment. It's not guaranteed that we'll get into the birth center as they are very restrictive on the patients they admit (you have to be very low risk) for fear of being shut down if they have bad outcomes. Any sign of a stalled labor and your shipped to the regular L&D floor in the hospital. But the move was instigated by the very high rate of unnecessary interventions in most hospitals, supposedly meant to improve outcomes for mother and child but often having the opposite effect. There is a stark comparison in the birth outcomes of the US to other industrialized countries such as Japan and western Europe where 70% of births are attended by midwives. The US infant mortality rate in childbirth is 5 in 1000 births, about the same as Latvia, Poland, Slovakia and Hungary. In Japan it’s only 1.8 per 1000 births. What is going on people?

Epidural rates are as high at 95% in some NYC hospitals. C sections rates in the city’s best hospitals between 30-50% (the World Health Organization recommends C-sections rates for industrialized nations should not exceed 15%, a safe range is determined as 10-15%. It is major surgery after all which although relatively safe is not without risks not to mention longer postpartum recovery times.) The c-section rate at Lenox Hill hospital where I was supposed to deliver was reported at 28% in 2005, although a doula I spoke to said a nurse there told her the unreported rate is closer to 50%, and pretty much everyone gets an epidural. Epidurals are knows to reduce fetal heart rates, increase the likelihood of needing a c-section, increase the likelihood of meconium, or even eliminating uterine contractions and stopping labor all together often requiring labor augmenting drugs such as pitocin to start it up again which in turn can cause overly long arduous contractions and fetal distress. Ummmm….. no thanks. It’s not to say that these drugs can’t be helpful, they can mean all the difference between a successful outcome (healthy mom and babe) and a not so successful one in the right situation. What needs to be questioned is the frequency of their use in otherwise normal labors.

An excellent documentary came out earlier this year on the subject titled the Business of Being Born that looks at the international comparison (we do have outrageously expensive health care in the US afterall – why are we pushing for more interventions instead of less?) but also the history of birthing practices in the US and all the unnecessary interventions that were later suspended as doctors realized they were doing more harm than good. Things like x-raying of women’s pelvises to determine if they were big enough to birth their babies until they realized the x-rays gave the babies cancer – no joke. Medications to deal with morning sickness that caused debilitating birth defects. Now there’s an ongoing debate on the effects of ultrasounds on babies (the norm is to have one at 12 weeks, 20 weeks and often at 32 weeks). It seems when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth women are the lab rats and doctors tend to do first and ask questions later. I can’t help but think that adequate prenatal care and birthing is a topic that’s been somehow left behind policy discussions on women’s rights. How much of the debate is being driven by insurance companies I wonder? The US after all has a lot to learn it seems from other countries with lower health care costs and better childbirth outcomes.

Puerto Vallarta, Me-hee-co

Brian and I got back last night from 5 days in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We had beautiful weather throughout, 80 degrees and sunny, and stayed at a really nice hotel, Casa Magna, on the beach in a marina community just north of town which we would definitely recommend if you are ever planning a trip to the area. We spent most of our time lounging by the pool and on the beach, reading and relaxing, and taking advantage of the amazing hotel spa. Brian even joined me in a yoga class. We went out to some excellent dinners in and around Puerto Vallarta town including La Palapa - a whole open restaurant with tables on the beach that served excellent scallops, in the older area of town known as the 'romantic zone' that had some cute cobblestone streets and shops with Mexican crafts where we bought a couple things for our new apartment. There are live bands every night in town, and gigantic sand sculptures that attract the crowds along the boardwalk where the waves craves against the stone wall.

Puerto Vallarta certainly revolves around beach life and many of the shops cater to tourists while mega hotels line the beaches and try to out do each other with elaborate pools and gardens and lots of palm trees lining the beach front. We took a trip to Nuevo Vallarta, about a 20 minute drive north to see the area there which is less developed and includes many all-inclusive resorts. Baby was thankfully well behaved throughout - probabaly wondering why she felt so light floating in a pool but the relief for me was great (7 months and counting!!) . We made it back late last night to JFK only to discover that Brian's suitcase never made it. An unfortunate hiccup to an otherwise perfect vacation.

Growing and waiting...

May is ticking right along despite the weather refusing to let go of the cold. Next week we leave for Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for 5 days of rest and relaxation in the sun and on the beach and I'll get to try out my maternity tankini swimsuit. It's been a-while since we've gone on vacation, and we're both feeling a little bit beat and very ready for one. Brian is more settled at his job now and it will likely be our last vacation as a couple without junior in tow, well at least she's still extremely portable. Our next trips will likely require more 'stuff' for baby Maya.

The belly continues to grow and has settled on a very round basketball shape and size. Overall I'm feeling really good at 6 months. We're in week 25 (rutabaga week) and 30 weeks feels right around the corner. This weekend I had my first baby shower with grad school friends from Duke in DC, which was a lot of fun. Maya's wardrobe already looks better outfitted than my maternity one, complete with terry cloth bathrobe for lounging, caps and gowns and matching booties, coordinated towel and wash cloth sets and a onesie that reads "tiny democrat". Having the international do-gooder friends that I do, gifts were also delivered from Bangladesh from Ann who is in the foreign service and Loren from her trip to Tanzania. Won't find that at babies r us. It was a great weekend trip and I made it back in time on Sunday to attend our Bradley childbirth class which we have been doing for the past few weeks and we're both enjoying, perhaps more than we thought. All to get ready for D-day.

Still no word on whether we'll be in our apartment by then. The latest from our developer was that we'll have a July move in date, but we're becoming accustomed to being lied to. Still - the building looks good, lobby is done and apartment units on
the 4th floor are finished so one would assume the 5th floor (our floor) isn't far behind. The hallways are still a mess and I have no desire to move into a partially completed building with infant and dogs in tow. We shall see...

Babies everywhere! Liam is here!

Roshni had a healthy baby boy on Friday, Liam Thomas Guerry weighing in at 6 lbs 14 oz... he didn't want to come out and took his time making his way into the world,but alas he arrived long and lean. I think this is the first time Joel has been documented smiling for a picture. Happy daddy. Mom and baby are home and doing well, albeit a little sleep deprived but happy to have their little guy home. Congratulations you two! Can't wait to meet him.